$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
