thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
