So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize