you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
