What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
