just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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