Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
