i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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