Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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