no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You know, be my cock's hype man.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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