you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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