he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
