so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i dont even know how to be here
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
