your thong is hanging out like whoa
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
