wakey wakey hands off snakey
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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