ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
