nut hugger
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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