His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I need to align my fucking chakras
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
