Jerry, you need to find god
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
