In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
