my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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