Someone shit on the floor
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Randomize
