i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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