I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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