my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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