tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You made out with two different species that night
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
