weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
