Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
