Having a random hookup so left but love u
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
