he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
