so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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