I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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