I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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