No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
