Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
