haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
