call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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