Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just found a bag of teeth...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
