i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
