you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
