Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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