I bet he comes in French.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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