I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
