I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
