Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
