idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
