yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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