Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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