I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
