Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
