Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
