Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
